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1985 8:37 Tue Apr 14
Is this the year of massive (Massive) wasps?

Had the window open today at work and heard what I thought was a distant lawnmower but then I realised the noise was now in the room. I looked around and saw a MASSIVE GIGANTIC ENORMOUS wasp offering me out.

Instinctively, I launched at it with a box of Twinings peppermint tea and caught it smack in the gob, leaving it dazed on the windowsill before scooping it up with 2 sheets of A3 paper and chucking it out the window.

I had to call the RAF and get them to call off the Typhoons that they had already scrambled to take it down.

It was MASSIVE. Very bright yellow jacket. Cover your pints, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

jack flash 6:11 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Rios ~ Not sure about wasps in hot countries being docile
When I had a place in Tobago I was chopping branches off a mango tree on the terrace when I was attacked by 2 tiny wasps. I hadn't noticed the little nest they'd made fairly close by!
They looked like our wasps only the size of a small house fly
As I beat a hasty retreat one stung me on the arm, the other just under my eye
The pain was excruciating for about a minute & my arm was totally paralysed, the side of my face went numb
After about a minute the pain had gone & all feeling came back to my arm & face
There wasn't even a mark where I'd been stung!
A local told me that if a nest was disturbed, the wasps send out 2 guards to sting around the attackers eyes as a warning
If the attack is sustained, the whole bloody lot come out & attempt to sting the attacker all over!

riosleftsock 5:58 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

To be honest, as i torched the fucker, and it spiralled to the ground like a 109e in a dogfight with a spitfire, i looked closely and noticed it had a HUMAN FACE.

No shit.

bruuuno 5:54 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

You sure the beast in the girls dorm wasnt you rios son?

riosleftsock 5:51 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Wasps in hot countries are generally quite docile and unlikely to sting you. Its the other insects you need to be careful of - gnats, mozzies, tics etc.

I was youth hostelling in holford many years ago when the girls dorm was invaded by this huge beast. Turned out to be a QUEEN HORNET.

We went at it with everything. I ended up taking it out with a can of hairspray and a lighter.

Northern Sold 3:54 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Had a mahoosive Bumble Bee land on my shoulder when driving home yesterday... about 5 mins he was sitting on there before flying off... lokked like a black a nd gold midget parrott... I LOVE Bumble bees

The Joker 3:46 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

subcutaneous 2:18 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

"Bees are intelligent, whereas wasps are pointless angry cunts."



So it's quite likely that wasps post on WHO?

Lewisham_Hammer 1:49 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Always had a phobia of these fuckers!

I thought this didn't extend to bee's but I went to Turkey last October and the place was absolutely riddled with them to the point you couldn't walk 5 seconds in day light without them clinging onto you, gave me nightmares!!! think i had about 5 of the fuckers round me at once at one point, ruined the holiday for me and have been on beach holidays for a couple of decades and never really had this problem. Was also at the same Turkish resort 3 years ago and this problem didn't exist. I will never go back to turkey after that experience!

Dunno why such a fear, have had this since a child and never grew out of it, I have seriously considered hypnosis on the topic!

subcutaneous 2:18 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Bees are intelligent, whereas wasps are pointless angry cunts.

I read somewhere once that if aliens ever made contact with the Earth looking for intelligent life, they would give humans a swerve and approach bees.

Or was it ants? In a Douglas Adams fictional novel?

I think I may have made my own post redundant.

It's getting late.

*logs off*

diehardhammer 1:36 Wed Apr 15
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Killed 2 the other day that did look rather big

Death to all wasps it's all out war

Scraper 11:32 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

A3 PAPER

Hammer and Pickle 11:13 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

I think the poster smokes too muck skunk bru.

bruuuno 11:10 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

ManorParkHammer 9:36 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?



I'm not sure why someone would make that up? Maybe to impress inadequate streaks of piss like you?

MrCrowmanSir 11:08 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Saw a huge queen wasp this morning. Also found a hornets nest last year, contrary to what people think hornets are more docile and less likely to sting you than wasps.

zebthecat 10:40 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Queen wasps are impressive but hornets are HUGE.
One flew into my kitchen last summer, I was sure it came in just try and smash my light bulbs for a laugh.

stomper 10:29 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

one of these buggers flew in the window when I was enthroned on the loo.
I think I must have broke the record for the 3 yard ankle-trousered dash out and then slamming the door.
It was gigantic!
I realized it must be the queen and then realized what that meant. The thing bashed against the door like a hail of bullets.
I sprayed a bunch of insecticide under the door and taped it shut with gaffer tape.
I then bravely ran away

the exile 10:18 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

What a load of bollocks about the year of massive wasps. Dick Dastardly has it right - at this time of year they have to be queens, which is also why what you saw was bigger than usual. They have been hibernating and are now emerging to start a nest somewhere - hopefully in your shed, 1985 - you really should have killed the bitch. Unless someone else has done the job for you that's a few hundred extra wasps in your neighbourhood.

1985 10:13 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

'bruuuno 9:08 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?
my party trick is catching a wasp and carefully extracting its sting whilst still alive, then releasing it to buzz around scaring people who now have no reason to be scared of it'

I'll tell you how to carefully extract a wasp's sting. FUCKING SLEDGEHAMMER!

joey5000 10:13 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

There can be only none.

Mr Anon 10:11 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

http://www.wigantoday.net/news/local/beware-giant-wasps-are-on-their-way-1-6604006

Mr Anon 10:09 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--vUsHKveV--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/191t5r8wkyaf5jpg.jpg

As long as they don't get this big I can cope.

Mr Anon 10:04 Tue Apr 14
Re: Is this the year of massive (MASSIVE) WASPS?

Have you killed anyone recently Jack?

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